see if this makes sense to you

Good thing no one looks at a PhD and then asks, "yeah... but, what was your GPA, though?"

The presentation I gave in philosophy was pretty solid, I think. My professor said it was "lovely".

Joe said it was good. But he wants me to like him. He wants me to think he's very sexy. He wants me to be fiesty.

I don't think I have a crush on Joe. I guess if I have to wonder then I must not. But I'm letting him be around, and I'm liking him.

He came over last night, just to stop by. At around nine or so - when I got home from school - he IMed me (from the lab where he was working, as most gradkids do) and offered to come pick me up so I could get some food.

I hadn't eaten, you see, and even though he wasn't hungry he offered. I said I had food. He said he could go get me some food and then bring it to my house. I told him again, I have food here. He grew quiet. So I told him he could stop by... since my place is so near his... on his way home.

At two in the morning I was pushing him out the door. I need sleep. I am here for school. Not to make out with boys.

But who am I kidding?

He doesn't want to make out with me. He's just doing that to ease me into the sex which he thinks is inevitable but which in reality he will never get.

I intend to keep on hanging out with him until he gets frustrated and stops calling.

We had class together tonight, though, and he did a really good job of not flirting with me, or even looking at me really. Then he drove me home, and asked if he could call me later (after he got back from the gym).

I said sure, but forgot to tell him I'd be out with some girls at a bar. Maybe he'll join us.

The thing about Joe is that I am not calling my girlfriends about him, or my mom. I told Tylere I had been hanging out with him in the event that Tylere arrives and Joe still is around. He's an interesting guy.

But I really feel like the only reason he's around is because he thinks I'm sexy. The fact that I'm smart or funny is just gravy to him. I feel like he's enjoying his "game". So I feel like I'm just letting him do his song and dance, and then getting some hugs and kisses too. If he really does actually like me though, then he could end up making this a good year.

Having him around makes me feel a little healthier about Kasey and Tylere though. In a strange way. Because if I truly were still hung up on either of them then I wouldn't be messin around.

It doesn't make me feel good about Tylere's feelings, though. Especially when he comes to see me. I don't think he's ever seen me with a guy before. If Joe lasts till Tye gets here, then we'll have Tylere and Michaela: The Awkward Years, episode two.

I need beer.