Just Circles
thyfirmnessdrawsmyCIRCLESJUSTandmakesmeendwhereibegun

an attempt to tip the scales

July 08, 2005
Last weekend I was in Cleveland, OH to visit and old college roommate of mine. She's the one who played too much Tetris and dropped out. After she went away, instead of drinking the beer she left under her bed, we instead put it in the public lounge of another hall in our dorm.

At my private school on-campus drinking was grounds for expulsion so we enjoyed causing a tizzy. I mean, no one got expulsed :)

So I drove six hours to Cleveland, though, a place I'd never been. Too long had I been putting it off, though, because my friend has had a husband and son for four years, both of whom I've never met.

So there I stood on the banks of the Great Lake when I realized that this was a different Lake from the one I'd stood on the banks of in Chicago exactly one year earlier. The lake filled all my vision - from horizon to horizon in my periphery and as far as my declining eyes could see. There was an algae-sopped wave-ish movement near where my feet dangled, but truly the massive pool just layed motionless.

The smell when I took deep breaths did not great my nostrils with the expected clean feeling of salt, but instead with an empty breeze tinged with the City near by.

Truly, it was lovely to the eye and yet disconcerting as well. As though the ocean were sick - not feeling well - and not behaving properly. It made me wrinkle my nose.

After some more time of endurance I will be released to go home. Feeling the ocean.

Tonight I'm going out, but it'll be that reserved kind of going out I do when I'm alone. In two weeks Mike shall return I will be unreserved. Tequila-drunk in strappy clothing in July.

That amorous drunk where I dance and cuddle and coo. The feeling I reserve for Mike, now, instead of random boys outside Mars Bar.

I hate my job at Pier 1 and I think I'm going to quit it now and just work more at the restaurant (which pays me more). I'm doing well in my class, too, which is nice. I owe it to myself to not have a job that blows, right?

I need to read more books on consiousness, note to self.

11:40 a.m. ::
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