eff that ess

Since last December the plan has been to go to Lexington tomorrow night to see Low and Pedro the Lion. These happen to be two of my favorite bands, both sort of situating themselves into the sad-and-lonely section of my listening enjoyment.

My big sister lives in Lexington. She's getting divorced right now, which is strange - to say the least. Especially since it comes at the same point where I'm getting engaged. Regardless, though, at different points in the past couple of years I have specifically introduced her to both of these bands.

I bought a car with this time-frame in mind because I wanted desperately to go to Lexington to see these bands with her. It just seemed right.

So the plan was for me to re-take the GRE tomorrow morning then drive out to see her and be back Wednesday for class. Awesome.

Her message to me today must have come while I was brushing my teeth. She's flying to Texas. She's not going to be home, but I can stay at her place. The neighbor will have a key. Feed her cats? She's terrified of flying, but seems to have found something to make her forget her fear. She's divorced, he's married, and I'm expected to go to the show alone. She probably didn't even remember to pick up any tickets for me.

The point was that we two would be there at the show together. I'm not sure if I even want to go still.

I'm really pissed. My feelings are hurt. I'm dissapointed. I'm confused about how willingly she's devoted herself to making mistakes. Can't she see how typical her decisions are of young divorcees? But more than that, I thought I could help, and apparently my coming to see her is not that important at all.