Nickle-Plated Tool

I think it's very interesting that none of my readers have commented or questioned regarding the ruffian I've been spending copious amounts of time with lately. Is it because it's just another one? Because Mike is one more snuggly sweetheart who will leave?

At least I already know he's leaving, though. We'll wait and see if it's any easier that way. I do know that he is becoming easier to be with, and the harder it will be to see him go.

The best part is sleeping next to him.

This morning I awoke three minutes before his alarm went off from a dream where I was being executed.

A deranged and insecure boy with thick glasses was firing indiscriminately through what was either an auditorium or a grocery store, but so far he'd only nicked a boy I knew in the ass.

As the gunman closed in on us, in became only me and him, closer and closer. Until there was no where for me to hide. Nothing between us.

He pulled out a larger gun. Shiny and with a knife blade on the barrel. He bet me I'd never seen a gun so big, had I? He described what a handgun that size would do to me.

Then he rammed it into my mouth; blade, barrel. I dropped to my knees because his shaking hands were cutting my lips. His hand was steadier at his side.

I was calm and patient. Awaiting the click, or the arrival of the police. The frightened gunman was not very tough, so I felt I might be able to ease the gun from my jaw.

My mind raced, though, and my calmness turned into weeping. I remember bowing my head to the floor (and somehow had my hands tied at this point). The gunman held the gun beneath my face as I wept shamelessly.

"You can shoot me," I garbled with my mouth stuffed with iron. "I deserve to die; but my mother doesn't deserve that pain. Please don't do this to my mother."

The saliva ran from my uncontrolable sobbing, and down the blade, dripping off the handle of the gun. I very clearly remember what my saliva looked like on that gun.

Surprisingly, he was too weak not to be crushed by my humility and begging. He withdrew his pistol as the cops arrived.

I caught a glipse of myself and my left cheek where the knife had gnarled the corner of my mouth and blood was smeared.

The police took the crazy, sissified shooter into custody, and then later my friends and I were all sentenced to go to a day-camp type thing so we'd all have better things to do. Hobbies. Things that would keep us out of the paths of homocidal maniacs.

Fuckin pigs.

When the radio came on and Mike opened his eyes, I was thankful at that moment to be listening to Maroon 5 and holding him. At least creepy dreams make you appreciate being awake, right?

I need to get a handle on these dreams, though. I'm losing control of them. The next time something creepy like wild-dogs or borderline-murderers is making me await my slaughter I will simply dream that Mike arrives as my personal military and rescues me.

Other news is of Carl the Puppy being in the yard yesterday evening, and I got to visit with Joe for a minute or two. He dropped the class we shared so I hadn't seen him in a while and the chat was very pleasant. I told him the story about seeing him and his not-so-ex-girlfriend and doing a 160 before they saw me. He confirmed that she would not have enjoyed my being present just then. Silly Joe.

He still owes me $30.

Muriah will be here tomorrow afternoon.

Bill is coming April 14. That's also the day Lincoln was shot, the day the Titanic sank, and the day my mother was born.

Martene is coming on April 16.

G Love and Special Sauce is playing here at Bluebird Nightclub on April 17.

::sigh::

I really like Mike a lot. I made him a compilation, which turned out wonderfully, to expose him to new music (some people just need some suggestions), and I'm very pleased with the results. He picked me up yesterday and announced that he LOVES the mix, and his FAVORITE song is Tiny Cities Made Of Ashes.

I sort of like that band who sings that song, and so it's kind of neat that Mike sort of got it.

Here's the rest of the playlist:

Beastie Boys, "Tough Guy"

Saves the Day, "Ups and Downs" (I really love this song, it's a b-side, and you should all hear it)

The Alkaline Trio, "Radio"

Modest Mouse, "Tiny Cities Made of Ashes"

Control Machete, "Si Senore"

Warren G, "Regulate"

Outkast, "Crusin in the ATL"

N.E.R.D., "Things Are Getting Better"

Calla, "Strangler"

Death Cab for Cutie, "Champagne from a Paper Cup"

Built to Spill, "Car"

The Flaming Lips, "Waitin for a Superman"

Gary Jules/ Michael Andrews, "Mad World"

Tom Waits, "Earth Died Screaming"

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, "Weeping Song"

Sunny Day Real Estate, "Snibe"

The Shins, "So Says I"

TV on the Radio, "Staring at the Sun"

Lauryn Hill, "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You"

Air, "Sexy Boy"

Coldplay, "The Scientist"