I love you

I was certain my head was going to explode last night, so I called Kasey to hear sweet nothings while I smoked.

The intensity of the weight of the realization of all that is taking place right now is in many ways impossible to process with only my one brain.

I am leaving these two children with whom I live, and have shared the coolest friendship with.

I am leaving Asit who has been the singlemost loyal and trustworthy man I have ever known. After my history with men who leave, and men who lie, and men who threaten, Asit has reconstructed my expectations.

Also, I've just met a man who is not only crazy about me, but quite possibly worth me getting crazy about. Okay, I mean, a man who I'm crazy about. And now I have to leave him, too.

I will soon be spending a month with my family and friends after eight-to-ten months away.

I am moving into my first apartment without a roommate.

A new school, new state, new program, at a higher level.

It's a state university, too, and not private - like I'm used to.

Also, the grand total of my rent + phone + utilities + cellphone for an entire year is just a little over six grand.

Can you see how much this is to have on my mind?