by a thread
I'm so overwhelmingly stressed out right now.
The end-of-the-semester break-down is upon me.
My poor boyfriend is having to endure my reaction to the world and he just wishes I could frolic in the flower-filled meadow of love with him. Instead I'm moody and dried up and unpredictable.
This reminds me of college, when CB and I used to have knock-down drag-outs every semester just to blow out the tension.
Today, though, it feels like it will never end. I'm aching from all the work I have to do. I can hardly look at myself because I feel so much frustration.
And it's my fault I'm frustrated.
I admitt that self-loathing is something I struggle with.
Then it makes me angry at myself for being so selfish.
Then I just break down.
Right now I can't stand Michaela. And on top of that I'm pissed at myself for being so moody and dramatic. So I'm alone, and I really don't want to go out.
But I have groups to work with for final projects and I must.
