Maybe I Can Sleep...
What do you say, Mikaela?
I say drinking is the coping skill I acquired a few years back to make it through school.
I remember sitting at home one Christmas while my (married) sister repremanded me by saying she never had to be drunk to have a good time.
I retorted that I had at least earned a degree, and she was merely married.
Merely?
It would be mere if I were already there, but for her I'm sure it's optimal.
My Bloody Valentine is the only thing worth listening to right now. Other choices would include Low or Slowdive but this album reduces me to a child.
Are you on Friendster?
Salt and vinegar potato chips... feel good... on my lip which I cut on a beer bottle tonight.
These chips and a turkey sandwich are the only thing I've eaten in 36 hours.
I don't feel like cooking.
Tylere will be here soon. He knows what it's like to be wasteful and lazy and drunk and still do well. I don't get to see him graduate, and it breaks my heart. I want to see him in his regalia. I want to see his mother's face when he claims his diploma. I want to hear his name triumphantly announced in the Conn Center. My dearest Tylere.
Why is it that now, late at night, that I realize Tylere is my most extraordinary friend, but that I still entertain fantasies of falling in love with Kasey?
You didn't know that I did?
I do.
So Joe's in proximity, Tylere's done the time, and Kasey is in my heart; can you keep up?
I'd like to find someone else to date, actually.
My Bloody Valentine makes me think all sorts of things. It does something to me which nothing else in the world can do. It makes me sense so much that is lovely.
I just wrote an excellent testimonial for Joe on Friendster. Because he deserves so much praise.
How do I manage to meet so many wonderful men?
Matthew has never given me a testimonial, I'd like to note.
My best friend's husband is going to Iraq. Carrie Beth, who I lived with all through college, marriend a man who joined the army. He was, in fact, the lead singer in a punk band I ran with when I was yet a teenager. They've lived in Germany for a couple of years, and now that Bush is replacing a lot of troups in Iraq, my dear friend's husband gets to serve in the Middle East.
How my heart breaks for her!
This music enters into parts of my brain that I didn't even know existed.
I listened today to the cd that Kasey gave me before I left NY. I heard it during my drive home in late July, and I haven't listened to it since. It's very good. God, he's made things so much more difficult than necessary!! But he belongs to me - I knew that when I first met him - and perhaps you think I'm a fool, but we women understand things about men. And while he works out his troubles alone I am here praying for him. I did not invent our encounter, friends. And though I may not admit it while I'm sober, I know that he'll be back. It's only a matter of time. And he'll only return when the reasons are right.
I feel as though I only caught a glimpse this summer of what is to come, but the task for right now is my school.
Yes... tomorrow I must work for myself.
