Just Parcell Me Out In a Few More Directions

(after writing that I realized that I am putting this down like a letter...)

This journal started out like that, you know. After moving to New York I decided to keep up with a section of my friends who like to journal.

So this diary began as a letter-type-deal, but quickly changed. A lot of people stopped writing, though, like Glen, Amy, Jason, Jamie... And I found myself communicating more with new friends.

I think that also in the last few days I've become more acutely aware of my readers that do not know me prior to these archives.

Today is gorgeous. I would like to nap in a patch of sunlight, if I could.

Matthew talked to me for over an hour night, and it was nice to know it could happen. It�s nice to know he hasn�t been a waste of time. He makes me laugh. I make him smoke (and I�ll make him a CD, too� it�s almost perfect).

Time.

I�m feeling so pessimistic about the passing of time (the years go fast and the days go so slow) that I�m worried I�ll miss the summer�

Allow me to share with you a song list. This was more or less randomly selected by my computer's Media Player, and it surprised me as I listened. I have many of my cd's uploaded to the computer so I can burn off comps at a moment's notice.

Now, my compilations are contingent on transitions. One song leads into another. When I saw High Fidelity I felt like finally someone voiced my views on how important the flow and order of songs is.

So, this Media Player has a few automatic play lists such as things I listen to on the weekends; things I've rated four stars or higher; and things I haven't listened to recently; in addition to playlists of my own.

This morning I chose the list of songs I had not listened to recently, and this is what it turned out:

Califone - Bottles and Bones

Modest Mouse - Polar Opposites

Van Morrison - Tupelo Honey

Nirvana - In the Pines

The Pixies - Bone Machine

Interpol - Obstacle 1

My Bloody Valentine - To Here Knows When

The Beatles - Because

Neutral Milk Hotel - Ghost

Bright Eyes - The Calendar Hung Itself

Coldplay - We Never Change

Not bad, huh? Now, something else should come between Nirvana and the Pixies, and maybe between Van Morrison and Nirvana, but all the songs seemed to be so perfect.

There's something that songs from Loveless do to me that is so comforting and inexplicable. I know somebody knows what I mean.

Found a bathing suit yesterday that doesn't make me feel nasty.

I want to go swimming soon - it's been so long. The last time I went was in a lake, after a party, with a ton of half-naked, completely-drunk, entirely-innocent friends and co-workers of mine. It was so warm, and the moon was low, and the water was like a bathtub. I was the first girl to lose my inhibitions (since they're slight to begin with) and dive in.

I was glad that since the all the guys I worked with had to see my underwear, I was at least wearing the Spider Man ones. heh.

So yeah. I drove to the beach a couple days ago. I forget sometimes that I'm on a fucking island, here, and the water is so close. Of course, The Long Island Sound is basically shit, but when it's hot - yeah, hot - I'll go to the South Shore. I love the ocean. The beach. The sunburn.

Despite my aversion to daytime TV, I flipped the channels during my early lunch today and came across Sesame Street.

Elmo � with his Brooklyn accent � was talking to an apple who � swear to god � had a Staten Island accent.

�Do you like being an apple?� Elmo asked. The apple replied, �to tha cooah.�

Haha! It was perfect. Stat Nylan!

Then I found Young Frankenstein! I love that movie. The part where Gene Wilder says to Igor: �help me with these bags,� and Igor says, �You take the blonde and I�ll the one in the toyban [turban].�

Things in the last few days have been reminding me of The Bends, and I�m considering changing my Radiohead status and getting a second CD� after all these years.

I would love to have a nice stereo with 51 disc capacity (why 51?) but one of these days I�m going to have a Wurlitzer jukebox in my kitchen. The kitchen, and it�s tunes, would be the focal point of my family�s entire day.

Broccoli cheese soup is really easy to make from scratch.

My hotdogs were perfect.

I love Dr. Pepper.

I love tagboard vandals, but it lasts longer in the guestbook/notes� Thanks for the love.

[are you winking at me?]