do you harbor sighs?
In strange ways he and I understand each other very well and there is much which does never need to be explained. We spoke at length about self-examination (something I've begun to think I can make an academic career of), and self-abuse.
In 99% of the ways possible I see my two years with David as my period of abuse, where I withdrew, became secretive, panicked at the thought of him leaving, felt power when I sustained another blow, and I believed I could leave anytime I wanted to.
We talked about the dissociation of mind and body, and the eventual acceptance of our bodies as our vehicles, and not anything to abhor.
Justin is learning to love himself, and to allow the people who love him to affect him, and through self-examination has begun to forgo the abuse and has honored his body with a gorgeous tattoo I cannot wait to see.
Laura pushed up the due date for my re-draft to Friday, instead of Thursday, which is unbelievable.
I started reading an incredible book last night, called Elbow Room by Dan Dennett. It's a philosophy book, about free will, and I'm dying to hear back from Andy Clark.
Okay, so this morning I awoke to three new eHarmony matches. Emily said it takes a while...
So one match sounded really cool, another one was extraordinarilly lame, and another wanted to begin communication. These three are in addition to the "Mike" of last weekend.
So I decide to pay. goddammit. So I could see pictures and respond.
The photo for the really cool one was really not cool. I've been there before, and I make no sacrifices for a photo that doesn't appeal to me.
The extraordinarilly lame one had no photo.
The one who wanted communication has his photos restricted until after we've exchanged "must have's/ can't stands".
(ugh... this sounds so fucking stupid... why am I doing this?)
The photos of the Mike were exactly what I expected.
Whatever that means.
I have to say, mom did get me curious about "what science has to say about who I should be with".
asitwere doesn't like my new layout - even though other responses have been very positive - and I'm unsure about what I should do... What should I do?
It's Ash Wednesday today, and I feel I ought to surrender something, so that my God can fill it with something good, and of His choosing.
Like Justin and I said last night, when you clean something it makes it more vulnerable. When something is emptied of the old, it is vulnerable to being filled with the unwanted. When someone clears their time of friendships, he is vulnerable to relationships of the not-friendly type.
I'll not get rid of something, then, and not for the sake of being rid of it, but for the sake of gaining something that is more beneficial.
Like, getting rid of dial-up to make room for high-speed.
that was supposed to be funny
I am getting my haircut. The Ash Wednesday do. Is that something to shed? Does that count?
I'll post photos tomorrow.
