alone with the family

Since Thanksgiving there'd been no word, but yesterday Nathanael arrived at my mother's house. Bedraggled and homeless and in need of a shower.

My cousin in South Georgia, an Army recruiter, has made an offer to take my brother in, and considering his optionless-ness Nathanael is joyous to accept.

Tonight is the evening I've been waiting for: The Return of the King. I was not permitted to see it sans my siblings, and the wait was painful.

It's good to be home. Petty fights with mom. Laborious cooking/cleaning/shopping. Bouts of food poisoning. Multiple-family gatherings scattered around the city.

But you see: I like being known, and here everyone knows me better than I know myself. I rest in that.

I hate it when my dreams tell me lies, and make me think the dream is reality and reality is the dream. My stomach touched with food poisoning last night is no doubt what lead to images of Amrin. There is no good reason for me to think of him. Damn dreams.

All I have are dreams.

Holidays make it most apparent to me how much I wish I were already married.

Holidays and weddings.

And rainy Sundays.

I'm tempted to declare that I shall not date anylonger... because I just want the real thing... but some one will sway me, as always.