"Unskinny Bop" pretty much sums it up

Wasn't Buffy just so good last night? I mean, they've really developed that Andrew-fag character until he just fits the group so well. I love how he was putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable when saying "vampire."

Hahaha

Well, the bruises on the left side of my body are more or less a bitch to deal with. We've had a constant flow of maintenance people in the house today, so I've been up-and-down stairs more than usual and it's not very comfortable.

It's the same elbow I busted when I fell on my ass on the corner of 1st and 1st a few weeks ago. God that was funny. This elbow is just no good.

I colored my hair last night.

You know how girls do, when they get sad about boys? Buying new lipstick helps. Haircuts, new clothes, eyeliner. So I decided to lighten my hair a little. Highlights. Never done that before. Bad idea.

So, now I feel foolish. Because I tried to make myself feel better and just feel worse. I suppose I'll be a dark-brown-headed girl still. No black, though. I'll not do the black again. It was only good for the super-short hair with purple highlights. Damn that was fun.

Okay, do you want to know what I'm sending Tylere?

cigarettes, lighters, mouthwash, chapstick, Febreeze, batteries, film, razors, Big Red, playing cards, jelly beans, and a Jim Croce CD.

The coolest part, though, is that the letter I wrote to him is on the back of a sheet of paper I used to doodle on during my last flight. I started scribbling song lyrics all over a page, and then drawing in to fill in the spaces in between, and I thought it looked rad. The lyrics came from all sorts of songs and all sorts of bands and if he doesn't like the letter itself he'll like the lyrics.

I know you guys all think Tylere prefers the man-sex, but he's a dear friend - all my day-dreaming aside - and my package is the shit.

That's why my prom date said, anyway.

Oh, I've started saying, "that's whay my prom date said" after any random comment.

I used to say "your mom" after any random comment.

Before that I said, "I'll [random comment] your ass."

As you can see, I become progressively funnier.

Who knows what I'll be saying next.

In addition, here's the most recent photo of me and my darling Michael. I'm not sober in this picture. At all.

Tomorrow's entry will be "Top Ten Reasons Why Michaela Is a Catch" and if I can't think of anything I'm sure scanzilla can. Stay tuned; it's bound to be educational and entertaining.

I love Monster Ballads, and the next time I go out singing karaoke (which will probably be in Tennessee) I'm singing Mr. Big. I love the key changes at the end. I love it all, actually. I'm blasting it right now. Let me share:

Hold on little girl, show me what he's done to you, stand up little girl, a broken heart can't be that bad, when it's through, it's through, fate will twist the both of you, so come on baby, come on over, let me be the one to show you, I'm the on who wants to be with you, deep inside I hope you feel it too, waited on a line of greens and blues, just to be the next to be with you, build up your confidence so you can be on top for once, wake up, who cares about, little boys that talk too much, I've seen it all go down, the game of love was all rained out, so come on baby, come on over, let me be the one to hold you, why be alone when we can be together, baby? You can make my life worthwhile, I can make you start to smile

Monster Ballads remind me of Jesse Cougle. I met him while I was studying in England in 1999, and we just sat in a pub and drank Guinness and talked about the US (he was from Louisianna, studying at Oxford). I was leaving for Bath the next day, so we parted after the evening, and I was just so swept away by the romantic notion of England and shit. Anyway: I came back to the states and broke up with David. It was an excrutiating break up that took three months to execute, and during this time I was emailing Jesse. Not anything personal, but it was just nice to have someone intelligent to talk to. My ex was not an intellectual. I never mentioned my boyfriend ONCE to Jesse. Anyway, after David left I asked Jesse to come visit me. He drove from LA to TN for seven hours in his beige Volvo and spent five days with me. I hadn't been on a date where I had to wear a skirt since prom five years earlier. Other than that, there was nothing cool about him. He was so boring. He was the worst kisser on the planet. Probably still is. I brought him to a party at Maggie's house, and we all drank Budweiser and listenend to Monster Ballads that night. It was the theme. We made t-shirts with Sharpees and white undershirts. We were trashy. We were LOUD. It was so much fun. Jesse just sat there and was silent. My friend Jeni got in his face and started yelling that he needed to get off his high-horse and sing along because she KNEW he knew the words to REO Speedwagon. Before he left he was like, have you ever had an intellectual conversation with any of these people? And I was all, I relate to my friends on all levels. How can the combination of Bud and Firehouse not be fun?