Sweetness

I�ve named this compilation �Sweetness� because it is held together by a thread of honesty � the vulnerable type of honesty � about feelings. It isn�t reactionary, or accusatory, or pompous, but simply sweet and truthful. There is nothing abrasive about any of these songs. It moves through surface-feelings of depression, to deep-set feelings of being loved, to genuine issues with faith, to permeating sensations of salvation, to playful songs.

#1: Fantasie Impromptu Opus No. 66 � Frederick Chopin: With no regard to Stephanie Culberson I begin the compilation with this because it is one of the most purely beautiful melodies I have ever heard, and it is a piano, and my love for this predates my love for most pieces of music. This is where my love began.

#2: Everything Means Nothing � Elliot Smith: Moving from piano to piano now comes Elliot Smith, who I never had heard from before you played him for me. This sets a mood of melancholy and ambivalence, but it is only a short song.

#3: The Luckiest � Ben Folds: Patsy Cline said that one good song comes from every relationship, and about twenty good songs from every break-up. This is one of the few songs about love that isn�t boring. Despite all my short-lived melancholies I am not unable to name the people who make me feel lucky.

#4: Call Me Steam � Jeremy Enigk: Sweaters, notebooks, cigarettes, rain walks. What is emo? Could we ever call ourselves that? You, perhaps. This song is about being an observer: you are.

#5: The Shining � Badly Drawn Boy: The last theater movie I saw with you had this band for the soundtrack, incidentally. Some people understand well the desire to make other people happy.

#6: Sparks � Cold Play: Sometimes it�s too hard to describe, so just listen.

#7: Latch Key Kids � Dingees: This song is not per normal for you, but it was one of your �songs of the day.� This song is also not per normal for the band themselves. It�s more sensual and softly spoken. You and I are friends for each other unlike anyone else either of us has ever been friends with. This song steps up the tempo, too.

#8: Jesus, Etc. � Wilco: Last cigarettes are all you can get. No matter what, I guess, I�m always going to count on you. You can rely on me, honey, even though sometimes it�s felt as though I�ve had to pry your fingers away from your own heart just so I could take a glimpse at it.

#9: Secret of the Easy Yoke � Pedro the Lion: You sense the Holy Spirit in a way as similar to me as anyone I�ve ever met. This begins a series of songs about spirituality, which is the part of our relationship that I love more than any other. In these matters you are precisely my peer.

#10: Lord I�m Gonna Love You � Starflyer 59: I know you wouldn�t have chosen this song, but the only way I know how to follow a song of lacking faith is with praise. Also, Starflyer was my worship music before it became associated with you in my mind.

#11: Poughkeepsie � Over the Rhine: Well, it begins with being about New York, and it�s also a determined song about how to live a life purposefully. Musically, this song wins the �most likely to be skipped� award, but there are times when these words are the only way to express the conscious decision to keep oneself in the place where God has put him.

#12: Lover, You should�ve Come Over � Jeff Buckley: �but I had to leave you. On my flight back to New York after Josh and Lisa�s wedding I slipped on the plane�s head-phones moments before we began our descent into La Guardia. I remembered having heard the song twice before � once my brother had played it for me � but that night the words pricked inside my heart. I couldn�t restrain my tears (an oddity), not because I share the guilty feelings of the singer, but I certainly do have the same helplessness, and sensation that the best is in the past, and the pang of �I feel too young to hold on, and much too old to break free and run.�

#13: The Sticks Are Woven in the Spokes � Two Thirty Eight: From the song preceding this one emerges like a declaration of innocence. There�s nothing I can do about it, you know? Also, this is the last show I went to with you, and this band fucking rocks.

#14: Lonely Day � Phantom Planet: The first time I heard this song was the night before I took the GRE, when you and Maggie and Lindsay and Glen rescued me from suicide. It is in keeping with the mood of sadness, and it was perfect for the loneliness I dealt with right after leaving Tennessee, and it also steps up the tempo even more.

#15: Writing to Reach You � Travis: Ah, swirling music makes me think of you, and in so many ways I could have written this song. �You know it�s you I�m talking to.�

#16: Sweet Marie � The Anniversary: You need to be loved.

#17: Happiness Is All the Rage � The Promise Ring: Lest we forget my playful, shameless, conspicuous flirting, this song is here to remind you that you�ll always be my Hott Tylere. Not to mention this song is completely fun.

#18: Cool Like That � Diggable Planets: I�m putting out my own rap influence. Don�t ever forget me.

P.S. There's a new photo or two...