Just Circles
thyfirmnessdrawsmyCIRCLESJUSTandmakesmeendwhereibegun

And in the wee hours I stroll through darkened neighborhoods

March 08, 2003
Here I am at twenty till five in the morning and I feel completely numb. Cold. Senseless. Fierce.

Friday was it's general hectic self today. General shopping. General running-around with the kids from 3:00 until 8:00 -- dinner included -- and then I took a train out to kick it with Asit.

The custom is to step off the F train and light a cigarette. Just when it's burned to the camel I'm infront of Asit's five-story walk-up. He buzzes me up and we chat, smoke, and then descend back onto first street, walk half a block, and belly-up to our spots at the bar at Patio.

Michael was delightful, as usual. His best friend, Shawna, was there, and she sort of made me uncomfortable by constantly mentioning how atractive I was, and I was slightly unnerved by -- oh I don't know -- how WOMAN she is?! Why do women compliment me so much?

The cd I made for Patio was on the spin, and it seemed to be well received. Michael complimented the cycle and feel of the mix, which I appreciated, because the ups and downs of a good compilation are subtle but necessary.

My "obscure" section included the afore-mentioned Tiny Cities Made of Ashes by my highly-acclaimed Modest Mouse, of course, as well as a selection from the Tennessee favorite SELF. The song I chose was Trunk Fulla Amps, and anyone who partied with me at Lee knows this tune, but in general this is not a common artist to have heard of.

Imagine my delight when Riley -- who usually serves as DJ on Friday nights -- busts out of the adjoined restaurant when the song started up and swung himself onto the barstool beside me. When he found out the mix was my doing he was all hugs and kisses. Seriously, from his talk, he knew more about SELF than I did, but I knew enough of the basics to come across knowledgable; like, I know where the dude is from and that he plays toy musical instruments, and I know it's just "a dude", even if I don't own every bootleg and import.

That's how I made it through college, too, by the way, on half-assed knowledge.

Michael told me he had listened to the cd earlier in the week -- since I brought it last Friday -- and he really enjoyed the Warren G song (I hoped so; it's my favorite) and the Sade (which was specifically for him) and that the final song was Stevie Wonder's I Believe. He's so darling. So precious. I can't wait to hang out with him.

Sans Patio.

Sans Vanessa.

Asit and I drank only beer tonight. Now, this doesn't mean I didn't get drunk, it just means I didn't get to'e up from the flo' up like I do when I allow the tequila to make sweet, sweet love to me. It was nice, actually, to refrain from completely unbridled hedonism, and to walk uprightly, since I am now back on Long Island.

Let's talk about Michaela being back on Long Island, shall we?

Well, I took the F train back uptown.

And then the C train.

And immediately was able to board the LIRR (with no time spent in the God-forsaken Penn Station) out to my stop with not a hitch.

Apparently, though, I passed the fuck out on the train, and horror of horrors I missed my stop. Oh yes.

Fortunately, the *next* stop after my town is only about a mile away.

Only a mile?

Yeah, *only* a mile at four o'clock in the morning in thirty degree weather after a long week and a night of drinking is not my idea of a leisurely walk. But I walked.

I'm sort of amazed at how briskly I walked, too, and without decreasing speed. It is to my benefit that after a HUGE hill in the beginning, the majority of the walk was downhill.

It took exactly five Pedro the Lion songs.

When I arrived on foot to the correct train station where I had left the car, I saw a NYC taxi cab dropping off three passengers and I wondered what dumb-asses would pay a NYC cab to drive them all the way out here...

(You know that night that I did that, I was so excited going INTO the city that I spilled coffee on my lap waiting for the train, and it wasn't until tonight that I realized those jeans are still stained. They're my expensive jeans, too. I can never keep nice clothes nice!)

Today was totally punk-rock for me, though. I died my hair back to it's dark-brown color, painted my nails red, lined my eyes in black, and listened to Avail, Yeah Yeah Yeah's, Social Distortion, and Thursday. I don't really like the last band that much, though.

But they remind me of so many local bands I used to get into watching play back home. Also, they really sound like they mean what they say. Like I've said: I love anything that is done with conviction.

Avail is nothing but lovely, and I had been craving something of their sort when I went into HMV records today. I scoured the entire selection before deciding on the suitably-priced Avail CD (since the Bouncing Souls was going to run me $18.99). The salesperson was asking me about why I only had one CD after shopping for so long, and I told him the album had to be something that struck me right then, and it had to be the right price. He told me if I ever was in there and didn't like the price to just let him know and he'd knock it down for me... since he sees me in there so much.

Yeah right. Watch me pile forty CD's on the counter and tell him to charge me forty dollars. I don't think he really knows how much I buy. At any rate, he did give me a handfull of coupons which I will certainly use.

Today was also *new underwear* day.

I felt pretty tonight, even before that chick told me so.

When I got in tonight my boss had left my paycheck and an extra $50 (since I'm back on LI to take care of the dog while they're gone tomorrow), and she put it in my room, on my bed, right on top of my new underwear. She's so weird, but an extra fifty ain't wierd!

Tomorrow night will be fun. tr0uble2, c0mpare will hopefully join asitwere and myself; we'll be a barrell of monkeys, I have not a doubt in my mind!

Next weekend I'm going to Philly to meet scanzilla, hapithoughts, and a shit load of other d-landers.

wow.

I swear to God I started this as a diary; not as a forum for social activity, but it keeps churning out new acquaintances.

4:38 a.m. ::
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