sacrifices

Today is my 3 month anniversary with Mike and he's talking about marriage. He suggested I finish an MA, move to Charleston until he gets his DMD, we marry and he gets stationed in Columbia and he works me through a PhD at USC... It's a real tidy plan, but my head is exploding with what if's. What if I get the funding and status I need at the end of the summer and IU just hands me the PhD opportunity? Can Mike and I just *be* for four years?

Most of his words, I think, are just a reaction to how intense our love is still, how much he misses me, and how difficult gross-anatomy is for him.

I do confess, the idea of moving down to the coast and having someone take care of me - and who I can take care of - is appealing in its way. But then I sacrifice my shot at what I have right here.

Both sides are sacrifices.

Let's back up, though, right? I can't make decisions an engaged woman would make because I'm not engaged. I don't have a ring... but I did find a ring-size chart...

Should we back up further? Are you all wondering how after three months I'm even projecting myself into forever?

Quite frankly, I've always said it would happen quickly. I prayed it wouldn't take long. Think of how shitty it would be if we all had to date for nine months before we knew?

With all the information I have right now I am in LOVE with Mike and I WANT to marry him.

So asitwere said he didn't even want to hear anything until my second year of grad school. He knows I drive the sword to the hilt on the first lunge. He used to even say that when I flirted I played high-stakes and bet it all, because I liked the big pay-offs.

Mike's like that too.

We're great friends, he and I. We admire the hell out of each other, and we're taking a risk together. That's what makes all this crazy talk not-so-crazy.

We're NSync.

Tonight my brother in law is a'comin' to fetch me and at the proverbial ass-crack o'dawn tomorrow we'll head south. Home. Home!

I am a pilgrim, and a stranger, travelin through this lonesome land; I've got a home in that yonder city, and it's not made by hand.

We're stopping to see my ... dad for lunch. He's giving me a birthday gift.

Last year he forgot it.

"Guess I've got a lot of making up to do," he told me.

You have no idea! I thought.

Tomorrow night I'll be with Mike, Mama, my brothers and sister, and the ocean.

I'm worried I may never come back!

susabeth, are you the one who mentiond Pop and Drop in your journal? If so, you should be ashamed of yourself for introducing me to something as addictive and time consuming. You seemed like such a nice, sweet, Christian girl, but I see - now that you've dragged me down to your level - that you're no better than a crack-dealer.

DAMNED PUZZLE GAMES!!!