I was born in 1978 to replace Norman Rockwell
Clearly this does not pertain to an item which is solely known as in terms of a "pair". For instance my legs are either "together" or "apart" but one is never just "alone".
(d'ya like that example?)
I speak of things that have been placed together, though they may not grow that way. So that two items juxtaposed on a table are considered to sit "together", but when one is knocked away the remainder sits "alone".
My point is perhaps best understood when I put this in the reverse form:
Am I alone - and yes we can all believe Michaela speaks of love - or am I only apart? If what I seek is to one day find someone with whom I feel "together"...
This leads to the cosmic question of whether or not I believe in one soul mate per person. I've never claimed to believe that. There are too many stories from people I know that disprove that philosophy.
So if I don't think that there is one person out there that I share an innate connection with, then by my definition I'm not really "apart" from anyone.
I really am alone.
This night was pleasant and my hands still smell like lobster (you should read asitwere's telling of dinner). Dinner was followed by The Italian Job, and for some reason at this hour I felt this question at the edge of my mind.
This entry is just me typing as I think; I had no idea where I'd end up.
I certainly didn't expect to answer my own question so quickly.
That's one thing I've learned living here with so few friends: if I give myself the chance to hear myself out, I usually come up with some respectable answers.
Right now, at this very instant, the idea of being "alone" instead of "apart" is actually comforting. It means I just am, instead of being in part. I'm not lost from something that I have to re-find. I'm not searching for one.
I am just Michaela and every day I do more Michaela things. And I really like her. She's an alright person to live inside of.
Someone found my journal by searching for Tylere's name and the page that came up had a very incriminating segment that's actually a bit funny. I wonder if it was him. Wonder if he kept reading until I said...
The tingle in my spine is gone when I talk to him
It's not him, though, I know. And if it is there's nothing here that he could read that would bother me. There's nothing I could say that would make him stop being my friend. Which is probably why the idea of forever was so appealling.
But we're not meant to be together or else we would be so.
We just discovered I am alone and not apart, right?
It's not in the bag until it's in the fuckin bag.
