Happy Independence Day, Ya'll

...and now commences my bridesmaidenship at the expense of myself ever being a bride, no doubt.

The Bridesmaid

Sir John Everett Millais painted this, and it hangs in the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge, England, where I studied for a semester.

I used to go look at this painting.

Back in 1999.

I had a boyfriend at that time who had investments, insurance policies, an impending college degree, and other amenities that promised a proposal in the near future.

I used to go look at this painting.

Then one night, after he left, I wrote a letter to myself to read on the night before my wedding to whomever it would be.

I can't remember what it says. It's sealed. But it's something along the lines of a reminder of what sacrifices I had made to make room for the man I would be married the following morning.

The Millaise has become my malaise.

As my bridesmaid list gets checked off.

[x] Muriah

[ ] Maggie

[x] Joy

[x] Carrie Beth

[ ] Rosemary

The subject of this painting is worth an explanation. It depicts an old superstition that if a bridesmaid passes a piece of wedding cake through the wedding ring nine times, she will see a vision of her future lover. Her chastity is symbolized by the orange blossom at her breast and accentuated by her veil of orange hair.