game day

First: thank you my dear diary friends for all the positive things you've had to say about my Cadet. Lord knows if my journal audience alerted me to what they saw was certain destruction I would indeed take heed. Of course, you guys might want to see me unhappy so that I'll write better.

There's truth in that and you know it.

George called last night and asked if I was anticipating the Modest Mouse release.

"You mean of the album I just got in the mail and am listening to right now?"

Then he got pissed that he couldn't gloat (is that spelled correctly?).

Yesterday I sort of stewed around campus feeling like I was coming down with a cold. Feeling like I wanted a "talk" with Mike but no right to require him to do so. Feeling like I had been exposed because I realized he had found and read (significantly) these here pages.

So I decided after school I'd read and drink bourbon and fall asleep drunk. Since I was expecting to wake up sick *anyway* I figured I might as well have a little Monday-night fun.

This story could be told so much better than I am managing to do right now, but here are the facts, and I'll provide an analysis later.

::ahem::

After my calmly asking him if he enjoyed my journal, he replied, "very much so." I was angry at first, but when I spoke with my sister to vent she said: #1 it's on the internet, and #2 I should be happy he is interested in my words. Then we agreed that the best outcome would be him offering me his journal and perhaps even having an increased appreciation for me.

I mean, last Sunday I had 9 hits and two days ago it was 112. The math has been done.

So after he tells me "very much so" and before launching into his explanation and thoughts etcetera he asks, "do you want to read my journal?"

Perfect!

Then he mentioned that perhaps the "Fatal Flaw" which I mentioned yesterday would be revealed through his journal. We shall see.

So, I'm on the couch reading, sipping bourbon, feet in his lap, South Park is on, and the next thing I know we were BOTH in the shower.

I literally have no recollection of how I got from one place to the other.

I've only ever been in a shower with one other boy, and I didn't enjoy it then at all. Last night, though, was so much fun. Candle-lit and hilariously sexy.

It seems like so many things that I once swore were distasteful or unpleasant are now... tasteful and pleasant... with Mike.

...Later - I remember well now how he propped himself on his elbow - he initiated a conversation based on his unauthorized readings of what I had written yesterday.

An estimated quote would be, "he hasn't said a word about his feelings. Granted, his "non-verbal communication" is highly advanced," or something along those lines.

The general outcome was, in essence, that he's scared of how good "we" are. Something about little words with big meanings.

Scary, yes. But so good.

So today is the Atlanta Braves' season opener and I LovelOveloVelovE my new MoMo album and there's this sweet young man who I really am slipping for.

Side-story:

I waved to Jenny, in apartment #16, and she opened her door to tell me that her friend's friend is an artist and wants to draw me.

Que?

I gave her my emAil address to give the fella and we'll see. heh.