el camino
I do know a grown man hasn't kissed my cheek and blushed in my recent history the way Kasey did last night.
I do know I've never heard such certainty in a man's tone and felt completely comfortable the way I did last night.
He doesn't believe in coincidence, and he believes this is the beginning of a longstanding relationship.
"Go do your professor linguist magic, and I'll always know how to find you."
Distance never hurt any relationship that was meant to be.
Once again I wish I had had a tape recorder just to remember everything he says.
We had dinner with our newlywed friends at Carmine's, and his Aunt and Uncle were there and paid. So much wonderful food! But I was *not* hungry. I was in fact *nervous* on the train.
The seat saved for me at the table was not next to my friend of the last nine years, though, but beside my friend of the last four weeks.
His Aunt was to my right, and within moments she was offering me the email address of her best friend in Indiana, and she told me she'd be there in February and we'd get to hang out.
His Uncle and I have the same birthday.
After dinner the four of us went to the Empire State Building observatory at our tourist-friends' behest. It's breathtaking at night.
Our honeymooners retired after that, but Kasey asked me to walk. Then for a drink.
Just one, actually. Him a bourbon me a gin.
He's the most generous, respectful, patient, and kindhearted man I've met in ages.
Get this: he thinks I'm "perfect".
This is actually the recipe for everything that should make me clam up and freeze over, but it feels so natural with him. Not scary. Comfortable. Not scary.
He said he totally doesn't buy the "Michaela-as-one-of-the-guys" persona. I told him that persona works very well for me. He said maybe it just took the right man to come along...
He said a lot of things like that.
I was in bed a little after 3:00.
Held so tightly.
First sober kiss in over three years.
If I had met him in August I wouldn't believe it: I would have chalked it all up to convenience and not knowing anyone. Since this is happening now, as I am leaving, it's something I feel has more proof.
This morning my godmother called me to discuss the possibility of my fifteen-year-old godsister coming to visit me.
It felt really good to talk to her about this whole thing. Since she's known me for those fifteen years.
I'm tempted to call my sister to see if her phone works out where she's camping in Montana.
My godsister won't be visiting because I think I need the next two weekends for other people.
As it turns out I'll definitely be visiting New York because there are a few people here I will need to see throughout the rest of my life, so I'll bring her with me one of those times.
I feel as though I've discovered something that has exsisted for centuries, and it's exsistence has nothing to do with me. There's nothing I can do to destroy it, either. I just have to accept that it exsists, and let it be in my life.
I feel humbled and honored.
