werewolf
Cancer: (June 22�July 22)Learning to accept change is a sign of maturity. Enjoy spending your golden years begging for it on the corner.
I partake of things slowly, and I rarely indulge my impulses. Depending on the impulse, of course, but I'm very apt to make myself wait... and wait some more... not to simply test the validity of the desire, but to the enjoy the feeling of desire.
...an unsatisfied desire which is more desireable than any other satisfaction... C. S. Lewis
I eat slowly. One truffle could take fifteen tiny nibbles. I drink slowly. One can of Coke could last an entire hour and fifteen minutes of class.
I never hope, or expect, for all of everything immediately when I feel a want. And often, the more I want something, the more likely I am to resist obtaining it.
When I deeply miss someone I refrain from calling them, and I wait until I'm less intense.
There is little need in me for rushes, or quick fixes (aside from my cigarettes, but there are no doubt exceptions to everything I've said here because I'm both human and a gemini). I don't seek rushes.
The process is the fun part, not arriving at completion.
Our day ended around six yesterday evening, as it began snowing another few inches, so we canceled karaoke and we girls ordered pizza.
After musseeteevee, four bottles of wine, and Ashley's first time seeing When Harry Met Sally we all settled in for a long winter's nap.
So now it's nearly ten, and I'm showered and have been up for a couple hours because we all motivated each other to move. I like living alone, but I wasn't created for it.
I'm learning how to do anything I have to do to make myself happy; and I'm learning what I simply don't *want* to have to do on my own. Forever.
Like in the movie we watched... when Meg Ryan buys the Christmas tree the second year, and it falls over, because no one is with her to help hold it, and then she ends up wrestling with it until she figures out how to carry it on her own.
I know how to carry a damn a tree, but I really want someone to just lift the other end with me.
But companionship is the one cup I cannot pour for myself, so I feel blessed that these three girls are my companions. Their friendship is a gift.
Fortunately I have become skilled in patience, and am not desperate for any other types of companionship. The Good Book says that patience comes from tribulation, and I don't feel my life is partucularly tribulated, or oppressed, or afflicted, but perhaps that's the way patient people end up looking back on things.
There's exceptions, though... to everything...
I'm going to teach myself probability theory now.
