it's unfolding like a banana
My academic muscles are starting to tremble from exertion and I'm hoping that my studies don't shatter if I happen to drop them. After visiting with a professor yesterday I feel a little better about my competency, but that still depends on my momentum and performance.
So Thursday night Tylere and I went to Bears to watch the Sox game, and along came the physicists, followed by Joe.
We all mourned the loss to the Yankees, and then proceeded in to sing and dance.
I had a couple of car bombs and I'm hopelessly devoted to them now.
So there I was with an old friend (a best friend), my new drinking buddies, and the guy I'm seeing. For the first time all together there was a combination of my various degrees of guys.
As I walked Joe out to tell him goodnight he said he tends to feel jealous, but he saw me flirting with every guy in there (seems like I grabbed the emcee's ass) and he didn't feel threatened. He said my flirting is affectionate and not sexual. Good observation.
Then I asked him about the "I hope I'm not scaring you off text page" and he said it was nothing. Finally he just admitted that I had said something about this weekend being good for us for objectivity, and then that night he had a bad dream (no details) and in the morning he just woke up and expressed that doubt. He really glossed over it all, though.
I told him to not give me drama.
Then he left and I wrapped up the night with Patsy Cline and went home.
Yesterday he took me to brunch, then I took care of campus business.
Tylere and I ordered pizza and watched Igby Goes Down.
Today, before brunch, I had a pseudo-knock-down-drag-out with my mother because I decided to tell her I am casually dating somebody and she decided to tell me that is too great a compromise for me and that I ought to consider not telling her things she doesn't want to hear. Maddening, I tell you.
Tylere doesn't dislike Joe, but he says the absence of negatives doesn't create a positive. There's nothing not to like about Joe. I feel like I'm going to have to be making a lot of apologies in the future, though. I'm not going to marry Joe, so I know it'll come to an end, and I sort of feel like it'll be me who ends it, but maybe not. He could get tired of not getting laid, or we could just fade backwards into being friends.
As far as Tylere is concerned, he is still so much more beautiful than I ever feel worthy to look at. Seriously, his eyes are just hott. And his hair. And yet I don't want to crawl up in his lap and make out with him. I don't want anything more than this wonderful friendship. I do know that I could live with him for the rest of my life and be happy, though.
But I don't feel uncomfortable. Not like I did in August. Tylere has seen me kiss Joe, but he'd never tell me outright if he couldn't stand it. So I only know what he wants me to know.
I wish I could give you all a better portrait of Joe.
How terrible is this? I like Joe because he's "no drama" and now I'm making into some huge drama involving Tylere and my mom and shit.
Ugh.
Today is gorgeous, and so is the purse I bought.
