I would love to spend time with a conversational heart
"Whiz Kid"
"Book Club"
"Pen Pal"
"Let's Read"
"Tres Chic"
"Yes Dear" (the ole wife-beater sentiment)
"Amore"
"Let It Be"
I'm ready to surrender the fantasy. I'm not going to find anything in New York that I didn't bring with me.
The next time I see Tylere it will have been over six months since the last time I saw him, and longer since the last time we hung out.
I want to lounge across him and watch movie after movie, smoking one after the other, drinking Yoo-Hoo, eating pizza and Twizzlers, going out for coffee, maybe a ball game.
I want to chill in a living room again.
Bars and streets and restaurants and train rides are a buzzkill.
I want to pull up in my car and lay around jotting lines in a blank-book while he plays guitar.
Playing cd after cd as one song leads to another.
Inventing word games where we can only say sentences that contain a word beginning in "imp-".
Him telling me I'm "wicked smaaaaht."
Us double-teaming anyone who dares admit to liking Dave Matthews.
Arguing over which "Friend" he is.
He moved, though, right before going to England, so I don't even know what his place looks like now. I moved, too, though, so I guess we're even. I'm not going back, am I? As much as I love NY I really don't feel like I can survive here much longer. Hasten ye grad school!
I'm weary from not having a church. Not having the freedom to discuss Jesus Christ with anyone. I really had no idea what things had been done to the concept of "Christian" in other parts of the country. It's not a good thing to be one, you know. The Christians up here are not like me. Or, I'm not like them. I'm weary from men only wanting sex. I'm weary from the suburbs. From taking care of people for a living. Weary from driving an automatic. From not having a home.
Lindsay said I need to be infatuated with myself and stop being so generous with my feelings for other people. She's so right, and so *voila* I'm different now!
Whew!
That was easy.
I'm going to go have some "me" time now.
Mama always told me I had a giraffe-neck, what do you think?
This is a picture I took on the top of the Empire State Building. I wouldn't have noticed this little "5" if there hadn't been a little kid clicking a picture of it.
"Hold on," he told his mom, "I'm taking a picture of the five because I'm five."
I like the picture of the five. Some people might not get it, but it's not the sort of thing you have to think about, you know? It's just a blue five against a blue sky on a Thursday. So, don't contemplate it (don't contemplate me) just look at it, and if you like it, it's yours.
