the world will know what we know
I had one of those old feelings this morning of excitement and paranoia as I realized my page hits were up to over a hundred.
The day before I only got three.
Who could be reading so much?
This morning I feel alive and scared. Very alive. Very scared, too.
Not terror, scared, more like roller-coaster scared.
I realize that it's all grand, you know. Everything that's going to happen soon is big. And I have to be big enough to deal with it. From love to school to moving to being a sister and a daughter.
I sat alone reading until late in the night again last night, sipping bourbon, waiting for Mike to call after his party, but not really waiting because I would have been up to read anyway. He was torn up when he finally called and his hiccups were so bad we both couldn't stop giggling about it.
When he goes to these dentist-parties they have after every exam I KNOW he gets flirted with. People say,
"your boyfriend is never as hot as you think he is."
Then people say,
"he looks like Vince Vaughan! Leonardo DiCaprio! David Beckham! Jude Law!"
None of which are true, but it does mean people perceive him well.
Anyway, what I'm saying is that I *know* the girls in his program have already made bets of who will get him first and who will make him "forget" about that woman far, far away he keeps mentioning.
I know because I'd be the same way.
Sometimes I've been like that with the girlfriend in the same room. Vanessa? What's she got to do with me?
It really doesn't trouble me about him, though, and I'm glad he's attractive. My first boyfriend didn't reel in the honies at all, and was jealous if I got flirted with.
What I'm looking forward to, though, is flying in the day of his final exam, escorting him to the final party of the summer, and looking really hot.
I still haven't figured out how to dress.
Okay, that was very silly, but put up with me, okay?
When I listen to Paul Simon I feel that his music isn't exactly my style, but I am also overwhelmed with what a fabulously amazing musician he is. I need Graceland because all I have is Rhythm of the Saints.
