My sexual peak must be on the wax.
This bee sting itches horribly, and it's turned into a hug, swollen, red bruise.
Yesterday I spent studying in restaurants, cafe's, and bars with various and sundry of my classmates. We gossipped about how every linguistics professor is a womanizing dirty old man and every cognitive science professor is a queer. What nonsense...
It was cold, too, yesterday, and I was hoping to see Joe, especially since I'd hardly seen him the night before.
After my studying I cruised into a free show of this band My Hotel Year. Afterwards I approached the bassist and told him we were friends in highschool. His eyes grew wide. Then we spent the next half hour rehashing highschool and how we both had lost touch with what once was our circle of friends.
It was unusual, and unexpected, but pleasant over all.
I also found out their newest album is out on Eleven Eleven Records and that's totally cool because then we were able to chat about my college friends, too.
So I proceded to walk, listening to the SDRE EP, to Joe's house.
He wasn't home, so I grabbed my groceries (that I'd left in Winter's car) and headed towards the door, but somehow got sidetracked talking to Winter. After an hour I realized that the time had flown in conversation, when Joe finally came home.
He was in a flurry to get to the video store before it closed in fifteen minutes, so he took me home quickly, and said, "see you tomorrow".
I think I pouted a little. I was dissapointed. I had planned on taking a shower and seeing him when he got back. It was only just midnight.
When he got home he called, since he thought I was angry.
It was really just dissapointment. Like when you plan on eating some leftovers all day only to return home and find your roommate ate them, even though your roommate had just as much right to them as you did.
There are no grounds for anger because there were no imperical grounds for your expectations to begin with. But you still feel let down, some how.
So he said today I could show him the ginkgo trees on campus. Maybe he'll skip rocks with me too. Then he offered to drive me to Indianapolis tomorrow morning for my flight to NYC. That's too much! It's a school day and Indianapolis is an hour or so away.
I like that he didn't get defensive when I was dissapointed. He...
#1 - stuck to his guns and slept alone last night but still found ways to "make it up to me", and
#2 - any guilt he might have felt for my dissapointment he did not then try to shift onto me with a, "well, we never made any plans... I never get things done when you come over," or whathaveyou.
I think I'm used to insecure guys. My dad is.
MY DAD!!
shit... his birthday was yesterday. 54.
Yesterday was also the anniversary of my first kiss. Woo hoo. Seven years and twelve guys. Last year's entry was "six years and eight guys". Things have been busy for me, I guess.
My sexual peak must be on the wax.
I got charged a reconnection fee from the power company. Ain't that some shit? They fuck up and I get charged $15. But there's no way to get that money back. Fuck it. It's just money. I'll get some more.
Okay, now Damien (i.e. Fanny Pack Boy) asked me out again since our class is canceled today so he knew I'd have extra time. So I finally dropped the hammer. Winter told me I needed to take one for the team, so I told him we are incompatible in our interests and priorities, and with my apologies I anticipated we would continue to know each other as colleagues but not on a personal level because I have trained myself to trust my intuition of, "this will/won't be successful."
I'm thankful for Joe, really I am. He's becoming a good friend. He's still the best kisser in the world.
Winter and I defined the word "boyfriend" as someone with whom you are on a "trajectory of love" from whom you hope to "elicit love" but not someone you necessarily love when deeming them a "boyfriend". I like Winter; he's cool.
So, no, Joe isn't my boyfriend. No love trajectory. Just respect and appreciation and the mutual gratuity of making someone else feel happy.
I can't wait to see my kids in NY on Sunday. I might get to unlock my journal, too. ::fingers crossed::
Off to take a midterm!!
