why deny the obvious child?
Not such a bad thing, but while out shopping for birthday gifts for the twins I became stranded in a torrential downpour.
Ugh.
This was one of those, "I really don't want to be wet" sort of days.
Classes began today, but mine don't start until tomorrow. It's nice having Monday and Friday off - although I'm sure I'll find things to busy myself with on those days.
Ever since I moved here I haven't been able to win a game of Spider solitaire. It's really upsetting me because it's my thinking-game: I sort out my life while playing that, and I feel like it's preventing me from having any good conclusions if I'm not winning, because then I get obsessed with winning.
(at first I wrote "sinning")
If I just win naturally then I can think about other things.
Tonight I won, once, though, which was good.
I also have been missing Tylere a lot.
Seriously: I go an entire year longing to see him, and when I finally get the chance he has to make me feel uncomfortable and now that week is gone and I just want a normal moment with him.
The week we had together was lovely, and full of very good conversation and laughs and alone-time and old jokes and new ideas. I've never had a bad time with him.
But he is the only guy I've cried about in the last year, besides my brother.
I hate being sad about Tylere because then Tylere can't always make it better. When I'm sad about other things he almost instantly arrives to soothe me.
This isn't helped by him not having a phone, and me having to call his roommates' cellphones.
We've talked twice in the last week, though, so he's being wonderful. I just miss him constantly. And can't understand myself.
"Hi, I'm not in love with you, but I love you, and am possessive, obsessive, and psychotic about you. I don't want to bear your children, I just want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Barf myself up the wall.
I talked to Bianca tonight. I love her.
Tonight's music is Paul Simon Rhythm of the Saints and I can't turn it off.
I guess some of those Jews from New York are pretty talented, eh? Paul Simon and Jordan.
I'm going to go hang Tylere's picture on my living room wall, now.
