the nearest exit is behind me
and your working on something good
but if it's really good
you're gonna need a bigger room
and when you're in the bigger room
you might not know what to do
you might have to think of
how you got started
sitting in your little room (White Stripes)
Sometimes I feel like the place where I am right now is tiny, stifling, and setting me back, and that I'm only going to be satisfied when I get into grad school, or get a family of my own, or am a professor, then I'll be happy.
But the place where I am is a place I've aspired to.
I have two bachelors degrees (though I use neither), and I've left home without returning.
I own a car.
I have enough character to be the sole trustee of two twelve-year-old children.
I have not married the assholes whom I've loved.
I've shaken off all the people who have sought to bring me drama.
I have constructed relationships with all six of my parents.
I am best friends with all three of my siblings (each one thinking I love them better than the other two).
I am best friends still with my best friend from highschool.
At my core there is hope, faith, and love.
And I've worked hard to be where I am. This can't be square one, if I've been moving steadily for roughly the past ten years (that's about when I started thinking for myself.)
To relate to the above song, it's like I did start in a little room, ten years ago, and I worked on something really good, which required this bigger room, and I'm there now.
I don't know what to do.
So I'm gonna start thinking about how I got started sitting in my little room. Fourteen.
That's when I read my first linguistics book; or we could go back to age twelve when I decided to got to Lee University; or we go back to age ten when I decided I wouldn't stop until I had a PhD.
I have a good life, and I'm thankful for my life. The love I get from my friends is exactly the way Jesus described it would be in Luke 6:37:
"Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the meaure you use, it will be measured to you."
I definitely am in a bigger room now, and I must never forget how I got started.
"Be aware that the nearest exit may be behind you."
