Spring Cleaning
Quite the Friday I had today.
I've discovered the CDR drive on Vicky's computer and now the mission is to burn CDs that have been scratched or lost. Like Lauryn Hill's MissEducation. I've bought that CD twice, and it gets "lost" every time; it's the curse she puts on any white consumer, I think.
What's the difference between me and you? About five bank accounts, three ounces and two vehicles.
I'm leaving tomorrow morning at 4:00am, and six hours later I'll be in North Carolina. Joshie, who used to walk half a mile in any weather to walk me to his apartment our Freshman year, is picking me up from the airport. That has charactarized our friendship ever since - his determination to never let me walk alone - and I'm dizzy with delight at hanging out with him, and Nate, and Rob, and Zach.
My corruptors.
My guardian angels.
My gurus.
This is the crowd that gets the best of me. The people who see the rolly-polly drunk-full-of-giggles Michaela. Part of me would love to be a part of a commune with all these people.
If I hadn't lived for six months in a defunct commune when I was eight years old I might actually consider it, but there's nothing sadder than a commune that doesn't commune anymore, know what I mean?
The last time I went home to party at a wedding (Joshie's wedding) I was so hungry for the love that it made me hurt. I didn't want to go, sort of, just so I wouldn't have to come back. I thought it would hurt more on the return. I thought going would be a set-back in my development away from home. That was in October and I'm glad to report that I'm not nervous about this visit.
Yearning for the comfort.
Looking forward to the rejuvination with which I'll return.
Tonight is the last night where I allow this murky brain to soak up my thoughts. Tonight I go to sleep and put aside this wintery hybernation of intentional and purposeful living. I have to do this every year.
Spring Clean my mind.
I become so used to sitting on my ass.
I've stopped abusing myself for being lazy, though, because I'm only lazy in spurts. Then I get a good ass-kicking and I move a little farther ahead.
I'll kiss the babies goodnight tonight, and I'll begin my vacation. When March is here I'll be rested and ready for functional, meaningful, forward-driven living.
Every year around this time I start living weekend-to-weekend and neglecting my day-to-day. No "woe is me" will come of it, but a dissatisfaction nonetheless, and so I'm puting it here so I can re-read this and remember.
This is the final entry until Tuesday.
I hope you all will enjoy the rest from my droning, and that when I return you'll all make me feel missed.
One thing you may look forward to are photographs.
This little thing is precious, and I'm rather fulfilled with it in my life, now.
