the family channel

It wasn't his fault that his wallet was stolen. For heaven's sake the boy is twelve years old and it's his first year at this huge school, with lockers and Eighth Graders, and today was his first meet with the cross-country team. He was excited and forgot to bring his bag to me before leaving for the meet. Who wants to break from the guys with, "hold on a sec; gotta drop this off with my babysitter"? The team couldn't get into the lockers in the gym because... they've never had to. The gym coach always opens those and it's only been a month of school. None of them learned those combinations yet. So they all left their bags out in the locker room. When they returned from the away field, they had all been robbed. Half the team. My dear child was tense all night, but not about the money he lost. His dad would never understand. Sure enough, stood and watched my employer brow-beat the stalwart boy with rhetoric and "school-of-hard-knocks" bullshit. J was unreproachful, and respectful. And broken. He didn't hug me, but he let me hug him. Dad thought it was a big deal some kid stole a house key. Now every lock in the house has to be changed. You think they don't know where you live? You think they won't come here and rob the whole house? Do you know how expensive it is to change the locks on all the doors? Do you?! How can you not know the combination? Is it impossible to memorize two? J never dropped his eyes, but he dissappeard from them. I sat beside him while he played a video game, then his mother came to his other side. We'll get him a new key. It will all be forgotten in a couple weeks. Can't trust people so much anymore. Shake it off, kid. But he shook his head like we were nothing more than women telling lies to make him feel better. "He'll never give me another key because I'm too irresponsible. Don't bother, mom." He wasn't looking for sympathy or ice cream. He had no desert tonight, actually. The first night I've seen him go without. He believed his father had decided he was incompetent. No second chances for him. It's just a wallet. Just a key. Just some paper. Just nothing compared to a boy's sense of worth.

You've never seen him; I wish you could. He's solid gold. This is the boy who changed the Donna Summer lyrics to, "now you're back, from outerspace, and I walk in to find you hear making out with Mary Kate. I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key, if I had known for just one moment you'd be in bed with that Ashley." He told me I'd still be a virgin at 78. He also said that if he found the "fuckers" who stole his wallet he'd beat their ass. Not for the sake of his loss, but for someone putting him against his fathers wrath. Mom heard a toned-down version of his threat: "that guy is getting the beating of his life." She said it's not worth getting into trouble at school. "How about a dark alley?" my kid asks. We both laughed; you can't help it with him. It's his smile.

Dear God help me be a source of strength for this emerging teenage boy.